Family Beach Week

This past week was a fun-filled week at Bill’s Grandfather’s beach house in Garden City, SC (near Myrtle). Bill’s family has been going to this beach house for years and years, and this was only the second time I had been down there without him. (Two years ago, just before he was diagnosed a second time he had to work, so I went down with the family without him.) Maybe having already had the “first” time being there without him out of the way made it a little easier. I don’t know. It was definitely still bittersweet. His absence was so incredibly noticeable. I’m so thankful that his family has continued to love me and the girls as though he were still here. Extended family continues to check in with texts, e-mail, calls, etc… And when we are with them they give special attention to the girls. We are so blessed to be a part of this wonderful, loving, and supportive family.

Right after Bill died the girls had their Spring Break, and Bill’s Aunt and Uncle invited us down to their house near Greeneville. Those of you on Facebook saw some of my posts from that time. They live in the country and have several horses. The girls absolutely LOVED it. Our days were filled with fun things that Martha and Reggie (his aunt and uncle) had planned, and we got to see so many other cousins while we were there. It was so hard for me to be there without Bill, but at the same time it was so good to be with “his people.” They loved on us even if the girls’ behavior was challenging, they distracted us at the right times, and let me cry when I needed to. I kept imagining how happy Bill would have been to see his family all spending that time together. 

Reggie taking ZoZo for a horseback ride over Spring Break,

Hiking with the West cousins at Chimney Rock

Probably my favorite Spring Break pic. Kaleigh kept asking if Daddy would be proud of her for driving a tractor. It kind of looks like she's carting around a wheelbarrow of fire, which he would have thought was hilarious. 

So this week was kind of the same thing. The girls loved getting to spend time with their other cousins and everyone else. They played on the beach, played ponies and littlest pet shop, boogie boarded with Granddaddy, and did all the other fun stuff we would have usually done while we were down there. So in some ways it was just like “normal.” And in lots of other ways for me, hopefully not for the girls, there was that same emptiness I often (constantly) feel. 

I will say that someone commented on how much the girls and I were smiling and laughing. And I’m so thankful for that.  I know its because we have been surrounded by so much love over the past few years. For the girls, that love has given them much needed security and permission to enjoy themselves without feeling guilty. I've read a lot or articles about what a struggle that can be for some people, and I'm so thankful that it hasn't really been the case for us. Bill was always so clear about how he wanted them (us) to have fun, and that he wanted them to enjoy the special times. Even in the midst of all of his struggles, he gave them permission to be kids. It has proven to be an amazing gift.

A friend told me today that she couldn't believe I was able to do everything it takes to get the girls all packed up and down to the beach. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy. It wasn't. But it is really important to me that we continue to do the things we would've done before. And it's also even more important to me that the girls spend as much time with Bill’s side of the family as we can. I want them to know him through their stories of him. I want them to hear about the goofy things he did growing up. I want them to know how obstinate he was when he was little. And I want them to know that they come from this wonderful group of people who love them. And that beyond the many people here in Virginia (and elsewhere) who love them, they also have a whole other army of family members in SC that love them just as much.

Leah getting ready to jump in after the long car ride. 

Bill's cousin Scott taking Kaleigh out on the water. She loved every second of it. 

Loves the ocean, hates the sand. And can't figure out why it has to get on her feet every time she goes on the beach. 

Cousin Pyramid! (Missing some, but still cute.)

   

I drove back to Richmond on Friday without the girls. They are going to stay with Bill’s parents until this weekend, so I am kid-free for the whole week! (Best in-laws EVER! Stay tuned for pics of them having fun with the G-parents. They are having a BLAST!) But being here alone is still bittersweet. While I have a million things to do for work, getting organized in anticipation of school starting, etc...it is hard to be here without anyone else.  I have attempted to fill my days with lots of activities to help distract myself, but I'm also trying to give myself some more "processing" time. Time to think about what the fall will hopefully look like as we really try to begin the "new normal." 

For those of you who have been praying for us, if you could pray that the transition for the girls coming home would go smoothly, I’d appreciate it. As you might remember, it didn’t go so well a few weeks ago, so I am praying that this time will be a little better.  And also, if you could pray for my ability to come up with a routine that will work well for everyone once school starts. There are lots of logistical things to consider with three kids in school and activities, and I want to make sure we have a good balance between activity and down time. Thanks, friends.