New Year's and Sweet Kaleigh

I hope everyone had a great New Year’s and that you’ve gotten back into the swing of things. The girls and I spent the night continuing most of the traditions our family had before Bill got sick. I think right now there’s a lot of comfort in that- especially for Kaleigh.

We didn’t exactly make resolutions for the new year, but we did talk about things we could do better- the girls focused mostly on changing their attitudes and trying not to fight as much with each other (I think that one lasted maybe three hours). J But we did decide that we wanted the theme of our year to be kindness and thoughtfulness. For three years the girls experienced people going out of their way to show us love and kindness, and now I want us to be the ones who are giving that love to others. (And before my friends (ahem… you know who you are) comment that we did try to do things for others even as we were dealing with our situation, I would say yes we did. However, I want us to do MORE and I want the girls to be more involved in giving back and thinking of others needs before their own.

The three Peas on New Years

On New Year’s Day Kaleigh and I went to see Star Wars. She loved it. I loved watching her watch it. She was so excited and she kept asking if Daddy would have liked it. (I have lots of thoughts about that question, and for those of you who knew Bill, you know he probably would have had a lot of things to say about the new movie. I’m sure he probably would have written one of his infamous movie reviews for all of his friends too.) But I told her, yes. Yes. He would have loved it. Because he would have LOVED to have taken her to it. For me it was bittersweet for so many reasons. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I got pretty teary eyed throughout the movie- really just grieving that he couldn’t be there with us. I think I’ve said this before, but I think it’s the unexpected emotions that really take it out of me. I did not expect to get emotional during Star Wars- I mean… it’s a movie. But I guess that’s the nature of grief. It’s those waves that can sometimes come out of nowhere.

The other big thing that happened this weekend is that Kaleigh turned 10 (what?!). She had a great day and she felt really special with various friends and family calling, leaving FB messages, or bringing over gifts. Every time I’d say she was double digits she would BEAM. I know I write this all the time, but we are so blessed to have been given this amazing villiage of people who love us. Her birthday could have been really hard (and there were certainly tears for Daddy throughout the day), but because of all the love she was given she went to bed and said that it had been the best birthday ever.

As we get back into the swing of things, if you could pray for Kaleigh especially. She misses him so deeply. She’s been having a harder time lately. I don’t know if it’s the time of year or if its her age. Probably both. But we are entering into a hard season what with Valentine’s Day, Father Daughter dances, etc… not to mention last year around this time was when the girls came to Boston to say goodbye to Bill. So the next two months are probably going to be really mixed for all of us, but I think especially for Kaleigh. Bill was her favorite. She always apologizes when she tells me that, but I tell her I totally understand because he was my favorite too. They were two peas in a pod, and my heart just breaks for her (for all of us). Today Zoey said that she felt like she had a crack in her heart because she misses Daddy so much. And I think that pretty much sums it up for all of us. So if you think about us, please lift us up. Thanks. 

This pic popped up on my timehop today. It's one of my favorites.